It's Gone to the Dogs

Sunday: It actually feels nice out so I grab one of our dogs, Hunners, and we go take a run together. It's a little warm but nothing like the 100+ degree heat we've been having lately. Well, we get home (she's fat and tired, I'm tired from having to practically drag her) and I'm helping Bryan decipher the garage door opener directions since we are trying to install it ourselves. I look out in the yard and there is this little yippie dog, one of those that Paris Hilton would own. It growls and barks and yips at everything and tries to climb your leg...REALLY annoying. I'm a big dog person: labs, golden retrievers not the little prissy dogs. Anyways. Bryan looks at me and is like, we aren't keeping that thing to which I'm like, well, yeah, 4 is enough!! :) So I grab a leash and start going door to door and nobody has ever even seen this dog but it's tiny, it's legs are as long as my finger, it lives around us somewhere. 2hrs later I'm walking down the last street in our neighborhood and this is what proceeds:

guy on the porch: hey, that's cool, your dog looks almost identical to my dog Cooper

me: Hey umm, where is cooper?

guy: he's in our backyard where he stays.

me: does he like to dig?

guy: no cooper is good.

me: are you sure he didn't get out

guy: (lightbulb goes off and he runs to his backyard) oh my gosh the gate got left open but he never runs off.

**he goes in the house just to make sure I guess that this is really Cooper I have**

me: so is this your dog because mine would eat him for a snack

guy: (laughs) hey coop, come home to daddy, daddy loves you

me: (sigh of relief) yep, you're welcome...no problem

Monday: I'm self-training for a 10K. This guy here is one of my running buddies. He looks cute enough, really innocent, sweet as can be. If he was a kid, your grandma would totally pinch his cheeks off. We should have named him Cheetah or Kangaroo or Jaguar, something really fast and bouncy (he's named Parker after Tony Parker of the San Antonio Spurs a.k.a. "Eva's husband" so that will suffice at this point). We have another dog, Hunners, she's a little on the overweight side, something about it being my fault and table food. Usually I run with her because she needs it the most to lose the weight she's carrying around. Well, after dragging her a mile and a half on Sunday I decided to give her the day off and run with Mr. Parker here so I could get more accomplished. Have I mentioned he only weighs 30 lbs less than me? Or that he is as tall as me? Or that he is as strong as a horse? We take off running at MY normal pace. I watch the Dog Whisperer guy and I'm all trying to be in charge and this is a lost cause. We round the corner in our neighborhood and bounding out of the garage comes "Venus", this incredibly hyper border collie. Here I go leash between my legs, trying to look in control but at the same time tripping all over the place just trying not to bust it so I don't go home and Bryan gives me the "I told you so" speech about showing the dogs who is dominant. Well, anyways the owner comes roaring out of his garage yelling Venus, no, get back here Venus and to say the least Parker is finding her very interesting and I'm trying to get control of my beast of a dog and somewhere in all of this I somehow end up on my butt in the middle of the street while my dog runs off to play with this girl dog. At this point I want to cry but instead I lay in the middle of the street and laugh instead. I yell at Parker, "You get over here right now, do not make me chase you" as if he knows exactly waht I just said, he cowers over like Golden Retrievers do when they are/think they are in trouble. At that point all I could think was hey, at least my dog knows how to listen...